Why Therapy?
We learn, love, and lose in relationship to one another. Sounds beautiful, right? But, humans are like tectonic plates; rigid with build up of experiences and survival techniques. Conflict is the rupture or quake that sends the plates towards one another. Can the plates settle through the shared and differing ridges or will the sharp edges cause eruption?
Therapy is often the last stitch effort to fix problems that have been simmering from the beginning of a relationship. The haze of giddy feelings clears, learning each other becomes monotonous, and the overlooked is now glaring. You hate the quirks you used to love, resentment has settled in, and the “backburner” is at capacity.
Couples come into therapy hoping for a miracle. A solvent to clean away the fights about dishes, a fix for their partner who is clearly the problem and not them. In gay, queer, or poly relationships this can be exasperated by added intersections of identity and experiences; and frankly more personalities, more problems.
In non-traditional relationship structures we are simultaneously building a life together, unlearning normative behavior patterns, healing generational trauma, AND seeking authenticity. This compounds the expected stress of a relationship.
As a queer person of color myself, I know the struggles of trying to be your authentic self while also trying to let someone else in and learn to love them without incorporating the fairytale level of expectations we have been fed plus heteronormative role based relationships being expected. “Well, who’s the man and who’s the woman?”
Relationships; romantic, platonic, professional, past, and present are at the core of everyday life. The skills and support needed are NOT a sign of ailment. It’s a standard necessity. I’m Joey. I’m a relationship therapist for couples, individuals, and non-traditional structures. I don’t teach you how to fix your problems, I take you to the core of the issues using the Gottman Relationship Method to build a deeper connection between you and your partner. Whether you are in California or New York, Bond and Bridge offers secure and affordable telehealth for individuals and couples.
Therapy, because life keeps happening.
“Be you, do good”
Joey
